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Today's Free Write

What I dreamed of was being a stay at home mother to three kids on a large ranch in the widwest, or even the southwest, with horses. Lots of horses. I would homeschool my children, because my writing and/or photography career would have been successful enough that I could work when they were asleep. My husband would work every day because he wanted to, not because he needed to, and would come home to a home cooked dinner every night, even on "boys' night" with his friends. He would own a truck, and probably a motorocycle, and have a girlfriend or two on the side, but would always know where home was, with his best friend, and would make love to me every day, sometimes rough, sometimes gentle, but always new, because that's why it's "making love"...the connection is always real, and intense, and new.
My children would love the beauty in the little things, the innocence of nature and animals. They would love music, not just the melody of the sounds, but the poetry laced within the lyrics. Despite occassional outbursts, as all children have them, they would be respectful, the children I wish I had been. My sons would be boys boys, love dirt and watching their Daddy work around the house, and always be asking if they could help him, somehow. They would be fiercly protective of their baby sister, the youngest, and would watch over her daily. She would be a girly girl, despite being Daddy's angel. She'd love dresses, make Mommy fix her hair "just right" every morning, but still always have scraped knees from running after her brothers, and dirt under her nails from digging up worms so Daddy had bait for fishing. She would love to help Mommy in the kitchen, but make her brothers do the dishes.
They would be cautious but fearless, because they would know that the world can be an ugly place, but Mommy and Daddy would always keep home safe for them. They would learn at a young age to never go to bed angry, to talk things out, and to say "See you when I see you" because "Good-bye" sounds to permanent. They would learn that they have lots of "aunts" and "uncles", because Mommy and Daddy both believe that freidns are the family we choose for ourselves, and we'd teach them that it was okay to reinvent yourself sometimes, re-create your world. They'd know that good people make bad choices sometimes because of circumstances they think they can't control, but there was always room for a second chance, for self-inprovement, and they would always be loved, even if we were disappointed in them. Every week, we would set aside one day as "family" day, and shut off the rest of the world for that day. They would love to read, but be grounded enough to separate themselives from the stories, even if they fully immeresed themselves in each story they read. They would be told to follow their dreams and be encouraged to, even if those dreams were not something we understood.
I would be brave, too, although not always fearless, but my husband, who, again, would be my best friend, would remind me daily that I wasa a good mother and wife and would not repeat the mistakes of my own past, or the mistakes of generations that came before, because I had learned from those mistakes...that I was streong enough to not repeat them.
I would knit daily, not because I needed to, but because I enjoyed it and because completing something gave me immense enjoyment, while the process relaxed me completely, and watching the pleasure on someone else's face as they received a homemade item made even the worst days feel better. I would learn to paint, or create something (maybe learn metal work, learn to create custom jewelry pieces), so that my hands were active but I was creating at the same time.
My husband would work with his hands as well, a man's man. When something broke, he would fix it. He would work the land, and the animals.
We would grow our own food, and enough to sell the excess. While we would all have store bought clothes, the majority of it would be homemade, and I would learn to modify patterns. We would always have room, for those who needed help, a place to stay, a bite to eat, a shoulder to cry on. But, moreso then anything else in the world, we would love, each other and our children, enough to know that every struggle was worth it.
That was my dream.

Just reminding everyone to please go to Stephanie's page and check out  The Loud Mouth's Birthday Contest



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May 2012